i've been shopping. a lot. but after i fit into that first size 16 jeans, i became slightly addicted to the feeling i got when i looked at myself in the mirror. it was a funny joy. like for the first time i was really, truly happy about the way i looked. i think the shopping will subside for a minute because i plan on shedding some more pounds. i'm feeling really motivated right now.

though i have been shopping a bit much, i have also been working on tightening up my finances. with all of the extra hours i've been working, i should be caught up and maybe, just maybe- might even get ahead.

i think self improvement comes in layers. i am on the path to being happy with how i look, how my place looks and the way my finances are going. but there's more. i still don't really feel whole. i really need to stick strong to my meditation practice and also make sure that i keep writing. in addition, i think that (after long resisting the idea), i am going to start seeing a therapist. but i'm in search of something a little more alternative with a spiritual edge to it. i need holistic self improvement.

as i'm sitting here on the patio, listening to some soothing music and enjoying the crisp fall breeze, i'm feeling a momentary calm. i know that the path to wholeness and being truly, fully, wholey(is that a word?), happy will be a long one, but it is one that i feel equipped to embark upon.