I can feel a shift in my energy and I really, really like it.

there will be no more waxing poetic about this.

i really think i can make this work. i really, really hope that i can. but i'm gonna need your help.

i just turned in my last two papers for the social justice program. it is absolutely crazy to me that this is already over. i am so sad. and happy. and scared. i have no idea where my life is going or what i will be doing next and that scares me shitless.

ok, on another note, today is the day where i start my transformation. i am officially done drinking pop and eating junk food (excessive amounts anyways, we all know i would probably perish if i could never again consume ice cream). i am commiting to exercise at least five days a week. i am going to work on me. but not only just the outside. i am going to make a conscious effort to meditate more often and work on renewing my soul. i am going to focus on me and what i want to do with my life, how i want to live. though i am feeling good about it, i know it's going to take time and some support. so here's where you come in, i'm gonna need my friend :)

thanks. you made my day :)

Standing outside your car. The stars. The music. There was something in the air (or maybe just my heart). I wanted nothing more than to kiss you.

so definitely did not get up early today, slept till 1030. probably not going to get much done. rest is needed though. excited for my weekend off. dia. mexican food. movie date. it's cold.not getting out of the blankets. thinking up haikus in my head.

i do not know why i do this to myself... blaaah.

i am so tired from working that mandate last night. hoping i can get up early enough to get some shit done before work. goals for tomorrow: return sweater to the gap, return shirt to target, western union to lynette.

going to bed with a lot on my mind. still feeling good though. good night.

so the vacation is over. kinda sad. it's been really good. it kinda sucks i have to go back to work, but i am feeling much more refreshed. let's see how long it lasts...

another really good day. went grocery shopping with my favorite grocery shopping buddy. cleaned the house a bit. spent most of the evening with jessica. i really like her, she's good people. we went and got inked up and had dinner at logan's. it was fun. i thihk i need more people like her to chill with... anyways, i'm pretty happy with the way my tattoo turned out. time to read some of my book and go to sleep feeling very content. again.

this is scary. the end.

so i used to take a lot of pictures. haven't in while and i miss it. i decided i am going to try to start taking pictures every day. i'll try to post them on here on a regular basis. to start, here's a picture of the orchid i bought at eastern market yesterday as well as a really cool dumpster painting...

I could do that again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...

what a beautiful day. went to eastern market with nicole.got some good fruits and veggies and a beautiful orchid. people who think that detroit is wack need to go there. i love the crowds. the diversity. the lesbian couple holding hands without shame. the little kids with mohawaks. the 60 year old jewish man befriending the 25 year old black woman.a place where i'm not the only white chick with dreads. organic, locally grown produce. people who actually give a shit. love it.

since then it started to rain. laid in bed and read a whole book in its entirety. ate some pb&j. listening to super relaxing music right now and contemplating a nap. just because i can.

tonight should be good. we'll see how this pre-planned sex works out though. i am thinking (hoping upon hope) that it will go half as well as it goes when i fantasize about. hmm, perhaps this is a little much for a public blog entry. and on that note...

i am enjoying the hell outta this vacation. i really needed this. i am so happy. i love that i've been able to spend time with so many of the people i care about the most. my soul feels good.

so i have been sitting here for a couple hours at cafe 1923 in hamtramck. i have gotten more done on this paper in 2 hours here than i did at home all day yesterday. there is something about the suburbs that just seems to rob my soul of its freedom. when i am here (or in the city) i feel so much more free to just be me. there are not constant reminders of the homogenity of the world, there seems to be a uniqueness about the air here that cannot be replicated in canton or livonia or northville. maybe it's the kowalski factory or the polish bakeries or the cheap clothing boutiques with knock-off sean john and roca wear that line the street. but mainly i think the uniqueness in the air here is just life. life doesn't feel like this when surrounded by uniformity and conformity. it can't. i can breathe here. and the abandon houses that appear on every block may just hold the room that my soul needs in order to be.

ok. i don't know if it's the sunshine or these awesome banana nut muffins i just made or the common sense comin out of my speakers. or maybe it was just sleep. but something changed over night. or so it seems. i feel 10,000 times better than i did yesterday. some crazy stuff hs gone down in the past few days, but it's nothing i can't handle. i am a strong ass woman and i refuse to allow other people to define my life or the way i feel about it. starting today i am giving myself a makeover, but just like in clueless, i am going to make over my soul. (hey, clueless had its deep moments too). i am going to start living for me. i will be happy. i will get back in touch with myself and who i am at the core. and who i am is a damn good person. if people fail to realize that then all well, their loss. life throws some crazy things at you sometimes, but i've taken it upon myself to be bigger than those things. so i am calling upon myself for a revolution of values, to get back to the real me and what really matters to my soul. this revolution will not be televised. but it will be posted on my blog... enjoy the sunshine today everybody :)